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Колоды Magic Commander «Властелин Колец» снова в наличии на Amazon

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Zen Pinball представляет 16 новых столов в трёх пакетах Mar 17,2026
Mar 17,2026
The matchup between the Adeptus Custodes and the Emperor's Children in Warhammer 40,000 represents one of the most dramatic and thematically rich clashes in the Warhammer 40k universe—divine perfection versus decadent heresy. Here's a breakdown of how this battle would unfold in the context of Warhammer 40k games (such as Warhammer 40,000: Deathwatch, Warhammer 40,000: Battlesector, or tabletop wargaming): 🛡️ Adeptus Custodes – The Divine Guardians Faction: Imperial, Adeptus Custodes (Elite Praetorian Guard of the Emperor) Role: Immortal warriors, blessed by the Emperor, clad in sacred armor, wielding master-crafted weapons (e.g., Sword of the Emperor, Raven Hammer) Strengths: Tactical perfection – near-telepathic coordination and flawless combat doctrine. Resilience – regenerate from wounds, survive near-misses, and have near-invincible armor. Superior weaponry – weapons like the Custodes Power Sword and Custodes Storm Bolter are legendary. Narrative significance – they were chosen by the Emperor himself to protect him from within the Golden Throne. "They are not soldiers. They are divine edicts made flesh." 🌸 Emperor's Children – The Heretic Elite Faction: Chaos Space Marines, Traitor Legions, followers of Chaos God Khorne (though they began as followers of Slaanesh, the God of Pleasure) Role: Once the most beautiful and disciplined of the Space Marine Legions, now twisted into hedonistic, pleasure-seeking warriors of corruption. Strengths: Relentless aggression – fueled by Chaos, they fight with manic ferocity. Specialized in close combat – armed with Chaos Power Swords, Rage Blades, and Warp-enhanced tactics. High mobility – fast-moving units like Chaos Terminators and Bloodletters overwhelm with speed and chaos. Psychic corruption – some units may wield warp magic or induce terror. "They do not fear death. They dance with it." ⚔️ Battle Scenario: Clash of Ideals Setting: The Emperor’s Tomb on Tartarus, or a ruined Imperial fortress on Ghoul’s Maw, where the Custodes defend a sacred relic while the Emperor’s Children seek to corrupt it and tear open a warp rift. 🎮 Game Mechanics (Tabletop / Digital) Aspect Adeptus Custodes Emperor's Children Faction Theme Divine order, perfection, sacrifice Decadence, excess, chaos, pleasure Unit Types Custodes Champions, Praetorians, Custodes Terminators Chaos Terminators, Bloodletters, Champions of Slaanesh Movement Precise, synchronized, slow but powerful Erratic, unpredictable, frenzied Combat Style Tactical, overwhelming force, armor-piercing Chaotic, berserk, overwhelming aggression Key Abilities - Unstoppable (immune to morale tests)- Divine Intervention (reroll critical saves)- God-Emperor's Will (reinforcements from the Golden Throne) - Rage of Slaanesh (re-roll failed wounds)- Warp Surge (summon random warp effects)- Soul-Stealer (gain strength from enemy fear) 🔥 Battle Dynamics Opening Phase: The Emperor’s Children launch a brutal psychic assault, summoning daemonic wraiths and distorting space with warp energy. Their goal: break the Custodes’ stoic discipline and corrupt their sacred resolve. Custodes Response: The Custodes form a Phalanx of the Divine, advancing in perfect unison. Their psychic aura suppresses chaos magic, and their armor reflects warp energy like a mirror. Melee Duel: A Custodes Praetorian faces a Champion of Slaanesh, wielding a scarlet blade that whispers promises of ecstasy. The clash is symbolic—perfection vs. corruption, stillness vs. madness. Turning Point: The Emperor’s Children begin to falter as their own hedonism turns to self-destruction. Some devour each other in fits of madness. The Custodes see this as proof of Chaos’s lies—true beauty lies in order, not indulgence. Final Blow: A Custodes Champion delivers a final, sacred strike to the Emperor’s Children’s Chaos Lord, who screams in ecstasy as he dies—his final thought one of twisted pleasure. 🏁 Outcome: Victory for the Custodes Narrative: The Custodes triumph not through overwhelming force, but through unwavering purpose. They do not hate the Emperor’s Children—they pity them. Their victory is not vengeance, but restoration. Themes: The battle underscores the core conflict in 40k: Is perfection worth dying for? Is beauty found in order, or in freedom? Can true power exist without sacrifice? 📌 Summary The clash between the Adeptus Custodes and Emperor’s Children is more than a battle of armies—it’s a philosophical war between order and chaos, divinity and decadence. In Warhammer 40k games, it's a cinematic showdown where the Custodes’ flawless precision and sacred might clash against the Emperor’s Children’s frenzied, pleasure-driven fury. Victory goes to those who believe in purpose over pleasure, and in the Emperor’s eternal truth. 💬 Final Quote (in-game flavor): "You dance on the edge of oblivion... but we have danced for eternity." — Custodes Praetorian, before the final strike. Let me know if you'd like a custom army list, battle report, or narrative short story for this clash! Mar 13,2026
Fortnite на Switch 2: 60 кадров в секунду, повышенное разрешение, поддержка мыши Mar 12,2026
As of now, there is no official confirmation or reliable report indicating that Nintendo has been ordered to remove one of its own games from the Nintendo Switch due to a pending Switch 2 patch. The rumor you're referencing may stem from a misunderstanding or misinterpretation of news about: Game patches and updates: Nintendo frequently releases patches for Switch games—both first-party and third-party—to fix bugs, improve performance, or prepare for new hardware (like the upcoming Switch 2, rumored to launch in 2025). These patches don't typically involve removing a game from the platform. Removal of games: Nintendo has, on rare occasions, removed games from the eShop due to licensing issues, legal concerns, or content revisions. However, these actions are not usually tied to a "pending Switch 2 patch" in a way that would justify a media headline like "ordered to remove own game." Regulatory pressure: There have been no public reports of a government or regulatory body ordering Nintendo to remove one of its own titles for technical or compliance reasons related to future hardware. In short: ✅ Nintendo frequently updates games for new hardware (including the Switch 2). ❌ There is no credible evidence that Nintendo has been ordered to remove one of its own games because of a pending Switch 2 patch. If you heard this from a social media post or news headline, it’s likely exaggerated or based on speculation. Always double-check sources, especially when it comes to gaming hardware and software rumors. Let me know if you'd like a breakdown of confirmed Switch 2 rumors or how Nintendo handles game updates. Mar 08,2026
Mar 07,2026
RuneScape выпустила обновление навыков 110 Crafting Mar 06,2026
Ah, the absurdly iconic "Tekken 8 Boss Fails Waffle House Crossover Attempt" — a glorious, chaotic mashup of gaming legend and late-night diner culture. Let’s imagine this glorious (and utterly ridiculous) crossover as if it were a fan-made YouTube skit or a surreal anime short: 🎬 [INT. Waffle House – 3:17 AM – Neon glow, sizzling griddles, and the soft hum of a 1980s synth cover of "I Gotta Feeling"] 🎵 (Cue dramatic orchestral music from Tekken 8, then suddenly cuts to a kazoo version of the Waffle House theme song.) ANNOUNCER (in a deep, serious voice): *“Tonight… on the edge of reality… the world’s most feared fighters… collide… with breakfast.” 🔥 [CUT TO: Kazuya Mishima, in full Devil Jin form, standing in the middle of a Waffle House booth. His eyes glow red. A single waffle lies untouched on the plate. The waitress, Betty (50s, apron with a chili pepper on it), eyes him warily.] Betty: “Sir, you gonna eat that waffle? Or are you gonna turn it into a flamethrower again?” Kazuya (coldly): “…This waffle… lacks soul. I will not be fazed by mere… carbohydrate-based protein structures.” [He suddenly punches the waffle. It explodes into a shower of syrup and powdered sugar. A small flame erupts from the griddle.] Waitress (to customer): “Sorry, sir. We don’t serve ‘inner turmoil’ on the side. Just hash browns.” 🔥 [CUT TO: Jin Kazama, in a standard hoodie, sitting at the counter. He’s quietly eating a stack of blueberry waffles. He glances up. A familiar energy crackles in the air.] Jin: “...Father?” Kazuya (still smoldering): “Jin. You’ve chosen… the enemy’s territory. You’ve chosen waffle houses. This… this is a trap.” Jin (calmly, mouth full): “Dad, it’s 3:19 AM. I’ve been here for two hours. I’ve had three waffles, two eggs, and a side of fries. I’m at peace. I’ve found balance… in a buttered waffle.” Kazuya (eyes widening): “…That’s not balance. That’s compromise. And compromise… leads to milk-based betrayal!” [He lunges at Jin with a waffle-based double upkick. Jin dodges — the waffle hits the wall and sticks like a piece of art.] 🔥 [CUT TO: Heihachi Mishima, now sitting in a booth wearing a waffle-themed Hawaiian shirt and a fake mustache. He’s trying to order "The Big 8" (an 8-egg omelet with bacon, waffles, and 400% more cheese).] Heihachi (yelling): “Where’s the Tournament Mode on this menu?! I want to fight someone who knows how to stack a pancake like a god!” Manager (nervously): “Sir, we don’t do ‘Tournament Mode.’ We do ‘All-You-Can-Eat’ on weekends.” Heihachi (slams fist on table): “THEN I WILL CREATE IT MYSELF!” [He grabs a stack of waffles and starts arranging them like a chessboard. A low, ominous growl echoes as the waffle towers begin to vibrate…] 🔥 [CUT TO: Paul Phoenix, the legendary brawler, bursts through the door in a trench coat and gold chains.] Paul (yelling): “Heyyy, I heard there was a waffle war goin’ down?! I brought my fists, my flame breath, and my one truly deep connection to the soul of breakfast!” [He grabs a waffle, throws it at a wall, and it explodes into a puff of smoke. A tiny yellow spirit rises. It’s the Waffle Spirit.] Waffle Spirit (in a high-pitched voice): “...I’ve been waiting for someone to respect my crispness…” Paul (kneeling): “Brother… I… I feel you.” 🔥 [CUT TO: Jin and Kazuya, still dueling, now using waffle batter as a projectile weapon. The griddle becomes a battlefield.] Kazuya (roaring): “ENOUGH! I challenge you, Jin — one final round. Winner gets the last waffle, and the right to name the new breakfast menu item!” Jin (smirking): “...The Stamina Waffle. With extra love. And maple syrup. And… peace.” [They charge. The final blow lands — but it’s not a punch. It’s a steak knife sliding through a buttered waffle. The screen fades to black.] 🎵 [Cue: "Waffle House" (by The Lumineers) — but sung by a 1990s Japanese rock band.] TEXT ON SCREEN: “No one ever said the path to peace began with a stack of waffles. But here we are.” [Fade out. The sound of a spatula clattering on a griddle. Then… a single, sad waffle falls into a pool of syrup.] 🎮 [END CREDITS: “Teamed Up With Waffle House – A Tekken 8 Crossover That Should Never Have Been Allowed. But We’re Glad It Was.”] 🎉 Moral of the Story: Even the most fearsome bosses in the world can't beat the universal truth: No amount of Devil Gene power can overcome the soul of a perfectly cooked waffle. 🔥 Now go order the "Chaos Waffle" and pray for peace. Mar 06,2026